http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020874.html

Larger woman in elevator eating Snickers bar: No matter what I do, I can't lose no weight!
Less fat friend: Mm-hmm.
(elevator goes one floor up and stops. Both go to get off)
Suit #1: Unbelievable, no wonder you have weight issues.
Larger woman: What? 'scuse me? What you know about me?
Suit: Other than you are fat, can't take the stairs for one floor, and are stuffing your face with a king size Snickers?
Less fat friend: Shit, he do know you.

--40th & 8th

Overheard by: SandmanEsq

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020873.html

Teenage boy #1: Dude, that mannequin was hot!
Teenage boy #2: Imagine if it had a head and limbs!

--Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Dave Rabkin

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020872.html

Not from New York husband: Honey, we can eat over there. (points at Tavern on the Green)
Not from New York wife: Ew! No, I am not going to eat at a tavern. That's gross.

--Central Park

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020871.html

Frustrated hobo: What are you looking for?
Batty bag lady: A car!
Frustrated hobo: Well, what kind of car?
Batty bag lady: A car I can pee between!

--Eldridge & Broome

Overheard by: Nic

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020870.html

Hermit-looking man at bakery counter: Euhh... Yes, I want cake. One will say "Kenny's dead." No! Wait! One will say "I killed Kenny, and I'm not sorry!" And the other will say... it will say, "Obama is my homeboy!"
20-something hipster girl, staring at man: Are you... for real?
Hermit-looking man: Yes, sweetie.
20-something hipster girl: You... you win at life, sir.

--167th & Broadway

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020869.html

Guy holding baking mix: Excuse me, where's the vegetable oil?
Employee: We don't have vegetable oil, but I think canola oil should work fine with that.
Guy, sarcastically: Oh, you think canola oil would work?

--Trader Joe's, 14th St

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020868.html

Girlfriend: Learn anything new today?
Boyfriend: How to say "sexual offender" in Japanese!

--Central Park

Overheard by: lynn

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020867.html

Cute Asian girl: I feel like I'm in high school again, except the person I'm dating is female and a really good kisser, and the guy I'm plotting to seduce is my professor. What's wrong with my life?
Friend: I think you need to either learn to live without penis, or realize that kissing men isn't scary.
Cute Asian girl: Kissing women is scary too! But I happen to really enjoy kissing Christina.
Friend: Okay, so if you want to do your professor so badly, don't you think he might be a good kisser too?
Cute Asian girl: There are so many things you can do with a guy that don't involve kissing...
Friend: Again... Get over penis or start kissing men!
Cute Asian girl: It isn't that simple!

--Uptown 2 Train

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020866.html

Bag lady to white guy whistling "When the Saints Go Marching In": Damn, nigger, that's my jam!
Guy: I'm... Ummm... sorry?
Bag lady: Yeah? Fuck you too!
(guy and girl walk away)
Bag lady: Shit, I gotta get outta this town and get my own place!

--L Train

Overheard by: The Music Man

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020865.html

Teenage girl #1: And she was trying to convince me that Florida is north of New York!
Teenage girl #2: Oh my god, some people are so stupid! North of us is like... Delaware!

--Hudson & Gansevoort

Overheard by: Laura

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020864.html

Hispanic teenage girl #1: I don't know about that girl. She just don't fit in with our group.
Hispanic teenage girl #2: Yeah, she think she ghetto fabulous, but she just ghetto.

--Brooklyn

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020862.html

Walk of shame girl #1: He said I was the best 20-minute decision he ever made.
Walk of shame girl #2: Oh my god, really??
Walk of shame girl #1: Yeah, more like 5 minutes.

--89th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Just Out For Coffee

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020861.html

Woman to waiter: Oh my god! I left my mink stole here. Oh please don't let it be gone. (goes to table, finds stole) Oh, thank god I found my mink stole and no one took it!
Woman at next table: Oh, please, bitch, ain't nobody want your German Shepherd!

--The Diner Restaurant, Midtown

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020860.html

Eight-year-old ghetto kid: Mama, give me your cell phone! I gotta call my girlfriend.
Mother: What you gonna talk to her about? How you can't read and write? Tell her to help you with that!

--Harlem

Overheard by: Joe

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020859.html

Six-year-old boy to two undercover NYPD officers: Hi, what's your name?
Six-year-old boy's mom: Hey, boy, what did I tell you about speaking to strangers?
NYPD undercover officer: It's okay, we're cops. (flashes badge)
Six-year-old boy: Aahhhhhhhhh! (runs into mother's arms)

--E Train

Overheard by: Rob G

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020858.html

Hipster #1: So you're like Simba in The Lion King. Except you're lazy... and drunk.
Hipster #2: Exactly!

--Hunter College

Overheard by: Lucia C

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020857.html

Guy #1: I told him you don't ask a woman for a cigarette, you just don't do it.
Guy #2: Yeah... Word.
Guy #1: But he didn't listen. Next thing you know he's getting pistol whipped and my car is being towed away.

--1 Train

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020856.html

Upper West Side wife #1: He thinks I can operate this household on $25,000 a month--that bastard better get a better job.
Upper West Side wife #2: Yeah, really, he needs to get his shit together.

--83rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Mike